NEW ENGLISH TEACHING PLAN IMPORTS /TRABBELS

Israel to Import English teachers Ynet News June 28, 2006 By Tamar Trabelsi-Hadad
As solution to decrease in number of teachers certified to teach English, Ministry of Education plans to encourage immigration of Jewish teachers from abroad … … … don’t bother reading the tiny print[B]:
The ministry plans to tempt teachers to immigrate to Israel by promising them work and benefits in the educational system. … … … the ministry appealed to the Jewish Agency in order to create a joint plan to locate teachers in … … …. the United States.
According to Abuav, there are currently almost 250 English teachers that have a teacher's certificate, but are not certified to teach English. The shortage has been a problem for years and, thus, the ministry has been forced to compromise and let these
Here comes the funny part: [B]
In order to convince English teachers to immigrate or to convince English speakers to join the teachers corps, the Ministry of Education intends to subsidize the certification process, guarantee jobs, and provide financial incentives to teachers, including involvement with rent for those teaching in peripheral regions, where the shortage is most prevalent. These benefits constitute a 70 to 80 percent increase in the regular salary.
You can read the rest of the article here, but why bother? http://www.etni.org/news/import_teachers.htm
IN THE CAREFREE DAYS BEFORE THE WAR, WE SPOTTED THE FOLLOWING ITEM ON YNET: BUT WE LET IT GO BY; WE HAD OUR ETAI PRESENTATION TO PLAN, THOSE OF US WITH CHILDREN HAD TO ATTEND A THOUSAND END OF YEAR PARTIES, AND, WITH THE SCENT OF SUMMER VACATION SWELLING OUR NASAL PASSAGES, WE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WITH IT. (I CHANGED THE FONT AND OMITTED SOME LINES, BUT DID NOT CHANGE THE ARTICLE ONE WHIT.)
Now that the dust has settled and collected its compensation from Mas Rehoosh, I have a chance to respond to this article. At the time, there was a huge hue and cry from English teachers who took umbrage. Studies show that very few of those who took umbrage took home an extra 80% in their paycheck. Who, then is getting the extra cash increment? "It ain't me babe," (Bob Dylan, 1965). But I've noticed that when one of my colleagues goes to the facilities, she takes her own smooth toilet tissue in with her. And the facilities are in a stretch limo.
So the trick is to leave your job in a huff, go to hool (in a handbasket), and come back as a new immigrant in a Honda. Fortunately, Israel is appointing a new absorbtion minister, one with great absorbtion capability:

AND IT'S ONLY FAIR THAT, ONCE we start importing from other countries, other countries start importing from us. But what to we have that other countries need, except for good hummus? Here are some headlines that I expect to see shortly:
CANADA TO IMPORT 1500 ISRAELI DRIVERS TO BRIGHTEN UP DULL HIGHWAYS
SWITZERLAND TO IMPORT 50 ISRAELI LITTERBUGS
SLOVENIA TO IMPORT 40 REDUNDANT CABINET MINISTERS
ISRAEL TO EXPORT 7000 MATH TEACHERS AND REPLACE THEM WITH TEXTBOOKS
ALASKA TO IMPORT 700 ISRAELI BULLIES TO USE ON POLAR BEARS
HOLLAND TO IMPORT 600 RUBBER STAMPING PSYCHOLOGISTS for LD EVALUATIONS; PROSTITUTION MAY BE LEGAL BUT THERE ARE THINGS THE GIRLS JUST WON'T DO
AFGHANISTAN TO IMPORT 30,000 APATHETIC ISRAELI CITIZENS
KENYA TO IMPORT 2000 ISRAELI SLAVE TRADERS
IRAN TO BUY UP SURPLUS DOVRAT REPORTS
DOMINICAN REPUBLIC TO IMPORT 50,000 ISRAELI DRIVERS WHO STOP TO TALK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.
CHAD SEEKS TO PURCHASE ISRAELIS WHO LEAVE STALE BREAD ON TOP OF GARBAGE CANS
SRI LANKA HOPES TO TRADE SURPLUS SLUGS FOR THE ENTIRE 'KADIMA' PARTY
ITALY WILL TAKE IN 1200 PRINCIPALS AND INSPECTORS WHO GOT TO WHERE THEY ARE TODAY BECAUSE THEY WERE AWFUL TEACHERS AND GOT BOOTED UPSTAIRS
BOSNIA-HERPES-TOGOVINA HOPING TO TAKE IN 25 HAIFA SHOPPERS WHO DECIDE THEY DON'T WANT THE YOGHURT AND PLACE IT ON THE SHELF NEXT TO THE PASTA OR THE CLEANING FLUIDS
BELGIUM SEARCHING FOR 45 JERUSALEMITE CHILD MOLESTERS
EDMONTON JUNIOR HIGH IS WILLING TO TAKE THAT WOMAN WHO WAITS TIL NOBODY'S IN THE TEACHERS' ROOM AND STICKS HER FILTHY FINGERS IN YOUR MAIL CUBBYHOLE AT SCHOOL.
EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, THOUGH THEY REFUSED TO TAKE IN DESPERATE JEWS ONLY 60 YEAR AGO, IS WILLING TO IMPORT AS MANY MUSLIM EXTREMISTS AS THEY CAN. GO FOR IT.
CALIFORNIA TO IMPORT 300 'GOOD HUMMOUS MAN' DELIVERY CARTS AND DRIVERS
FLIN FLON, MANITOBA IS EAGERLY SEEKING TO IMPORT ONE LOUSY SATIRE WRITER FROM KIRIAT SHMONA.

BARRY SILVERBERG PRODUCTS: WE PUT THE SHMO IN KIRIAT SHMONA
OCTOBER 29, (YEMENITE HALLOW E'EN) 2006